What the F*ck? Is Everyone Going to F*cking Japan Except Me?
your gorgeous cherry blossom pics make me wish you rot in hell <3
Literally everyone and their mother is in Japan. And if everyone is in Tokyo, who’s watching the rest of the world? Does that make any sense at all, or am I going insane?
I haven’t been on vacation in what feels like three trillion years, which is not interesting to anyone I say it to, yet I continue to scream it at people at parties as if that’s something to say.
Some man I either saw in person or on TikTok (what the hell is the difference these days?) said that it’s a good time to go to Japan because Tr*mp is rocking the global economy in a way that is shaking their economy in a violent way - like that thing in the hardware store that mixes the paint.
In an unrelated note - my ex moved to Japan, which was amazing for limiting the possibility of me ever running into him. We should all be able to send our ex boyfriends to an island so we can forget them forever. But not Japan - they’ve been through enough, what with Godzilla and now my ex-boyfriend. It worked for the lepers, why can’t it work for the undatable men? Though, logistically… if you’re a gay couple, which half of the relationship is getting exiled. Perhaps it would have been me, and then I would have seen Osaka with my own goddamn eyes.
My ideal hotel experience ^^
Anyways - it feels like I’m seeing a lot of cherry blossom pics at the moment because the weather around the world is - say it with me: gorgeous. But I’m seeing so much information about what the best hotels are, what to get from 7/11 in Japan, what side of the train has the best views etc etc etc. At a certain point, it’s like: shut up.
I think yes, I need a vacation. But more importantly, I need a mental break from influencers all repeating the same information online about where to go, what to do and when to do it. I know they’re just doing their job, but my god… get a personality. Even if it MUST be in Kyoto.
It’s just starting to feel like everyone is constantly doing the same thing - we’ve all been to the same restaurant, and wear the same shirt and our iPhone’s camera rolls are filled with 1000’s of the same picture. Even when I’m scrolling I’m like “which gay guy is this again?” It’s SO boring. And I know this rant is starting to get into the territory of Kristen Johnston in Sex and the City right before she falls out the window (spoiler alert) but it’s just starting to feel like there’s a single path in life these days.
I’m I just being crazy? Sure. Am I just being a bitter bitch? Of course. But do I also have a point? I hope this is where you say “yes!” or “preach!”
Of course I’m jealous too. I want to be in Japan! I want all the sushi and sake my little ass can handle! I’m obviously also afraid that by the time I have time and money to go, people will be over it. It’s me in middle school all over again getting the cool jacket a winter too late. People will have moved on to Morocco or Denmark or freakin’ Guam by then. I missed the boat on Iceland in 2015, and Bali in 2019 and Portugal after that.
Look, I understand that it’s ironic that I feel Left Out™ of an experience that I’m complaining is monolithic. But sometimes both things are true ← this is something I paid thousands of dollars to learn from a therapist and now I’m giving that fun fact away to you at a 100% discount.
It’s clear I also need a vacation. And at the end of the day, who cares what I think? Go to Japan, don’t go to Japan. Fine. I’ll meet you in Japan.
Enough rambling!!! Thank you for reading! XOXO.
Aidan “Needs to go to Japan” O’Loughlin